There IS a difference!!! Isn't there?

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Spydeyrch

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There IS a difference ..... but my wife doesn't think so. :(

So the other day a strange thing happened.

I called my dad to get some info on our family reunion at the end of this month. It is being held in Utah, just south of Salt Lake City. Being the opportunistic person that I am, I thought: "Hhhmmmmm, what a perfect opportunity to go fishing in some awesome fly fishing waters!"

So, as I was talking to my dad, we determined that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, planned for Thursday. We are arriving on Wednesday and the family reunion is Friday & Saturday. Plus we will still be there Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. So we discussed going fishing on Thursday. He doesn't really fish too well and even says that he is horrible at it. But he hasn't ever fly fished so I am hoping that he will enjoy it.

Anywho, my wife over heard us. I had gone to our bathroom and closed the door to get some peace and quite to discuss the plans with my dad. I didn't want my wife and kids to over hear me yet at that point because it was just "Hey do you think this is possible?" kind of talk. It wasn't "Hey, we are going to do this and it is planned and nothing is going to prevent us from doing it!" kind of talk. It was just a light discussion.

Well, when my wife found out, she approached me and said that she doesn't think it would be a good idea for me to go fishing because we are out there for a family reunion and not for fishing. I understood her point of view but I also saw my point of view, which was: We are going to be in the area since Wednesday. The family reunion doesn't start until Friday and lasts until Saturday. We don't have anything planned for that first Thursday. And we will be around until the following Tuesday. So why shouldn't I have a few hours to go fishing with my dad and brother?

Her response was: Because you just went saturday last week. You went Tuesday of last week. You went on memorial day a few weeks ago. You have fished more than enough to last for several months. :shock: This is starting to become an obsession!!

Now, I am not bashing on my wife, no. I take her input seriously and it is important to me to understand where she is coming from and why she sees things the way she does. But that doesn't mean that I agree with her all the time. But I thought for a few days about if I truly was obsessed with fishing, primarily fly fishing.

Was I obsessed? How could I determine if I was or wasn't? If I was, what should I do about it? So I decided to go to the dictionary and start there.

The dictionary defines obsessed as:

–adjective
1.
having an obsession (usually followed by with or by ): He is obsessed with eliminating guilt.
2.
having or displaying signs of an obsession: The audiophile entered the record store wearing an obsessed smile.

It also defines obsession as:

–noun
1.
the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
2.
the idea, image, desire, feeling, etc., itself.
3.
the state of being obsessed.

So after I read those definitions, I was a little startled because it seemed to me that my wife was right and maybe I really was obsessed.

Until ........ I was talking to a friend and he was talking about the things he likes to do and he used the word passionate!!!! That was it!! Was I really passionate about fly fishing and really obsessed? I had to check the definition to determine if it applied to me or not. :think:

The dictionary define passionate as:

–adjective
1.
having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid: a passionate advocate of socialism.
2.
expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling; emotional: passionate language.

The dictionary also defines passion as:

–noun
1.
any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.
strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.

That was it!!! I found the answer for my wife!! I am not obsessed with fly fishing, I am passionate about it!! There IS a difference!!!:dance::clap: I felt like I had found my defense and it was a good one, at least in my mind's eye it was.

Now if only I can convince my wife of the same. :confused: :pray:

-Spydey

P.S. This was meant to be comical, true, but comical. ;) :D
 
M

mlw

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Just tell her she should be glad its fishing, not sending other women provocative photos your are passionate about :)
Michael
 
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ninja2010

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yup. there's a difference... but it's a regressive state...

curiosity --> interest --> enjoyment --> passion --> obsession
 
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S

Spydeyrch

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yup. There's a difference... But it's a regressive state...

curiosity --> interest --> enjoyment --> passion --> obsession

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! :shock:

There goes my defense through the roof. :(

Hmmmmmmmm ....... but she doesn't know that yet, heheheheheh :dance: :rolleyes:

-Spydey
 
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sherman

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we all have our own passions or obsessions. My wife for instance, has a passion not obsession (YET) for shopping. So we go our seperate ways to persue our passions & all is well in our little world. Maybe you could slip her a c note & tell her she is free to persue her passion what ever it maybe. Just hope she doesn't have a gambling problem or worse looking for a new husband.
Maybe you could put it to her like "honey how often do I get to go fishing in unfamilar waters?"

Good luck I hope you & your dad & brother get the green light to go fishing.
 
B

BobbiDollPDX

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On one hand I feel bad for those of you whose significant others don't like to fish. On the other hand I feel bad for those of you who use your fishing time as your "getting away time".

Mostly I feel bad for the ones who don't fish together. It would be much easier to get time on the water.
 
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Spydeyrch

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On one hand I feel bad for those of you whose significant others don't like to fish. On the other hand I feel bad for those of you who use your fishing time as your "getting away time".

Mostly I feel bad for the ones who don't fish together. It would be much easier to get time on the water.

Yeah, I wish that my wife liked to hike, camp, fish, etc. But she doesn't and that is ok. And don't get me wrong, we spend lots of time together and I spend lots of time with my kids. :D Just that my passion right now is fishing. My life is my family, but my personal passion is fishing. :)

-Spydey
 
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ninja2010

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my family doesn't do the outdoor thing, either... although we camp sometimes... rarely.

but there's no conflict. she knew my passion and obsession right from the start. and more importantly, she also knows my heart of hearts belong to her.
 
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OnTheFly

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Dude....I don't think you needed to go through a lesson in vocabulary and grammer to get your point across. And Bobbi...it's Not 'getting away time' it's making time for the things you love to do most and a relationship or a marraige can not interfere with that. Only if feelings are hurt and uneven sacrifices occur can problems exist. Spydeyrch, if she needs you to be there then you need to be there. But by the same token, if a fishing day can be planned with no real harm done to the event then she should understand and have no problem with it. Jeez....did I really just say all that? I shouldn't drink and post at the same time.
 
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GoldFishSlayer

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yea but this is fishing with your dad there is no needed excuse for that plan in my house.. yea sometimes I get the you fish all the time thing and the you have a one track mind thing beings i spend time making my own tackle too...when it comes to fishing she is totally okay with it and I openly admit I have a serious addiction to the gods of the finned creature..I dream about fishing, I smell fishing, I breathe fishing, and I feel fishing everyday of my life our boy is now 4 and almost ready to graduate from lakes and small streams to rivers and the steelhead within and she loves the fact that I got him so interested in something we can do together soo.... when my dad calls to go fishing there is no excuse or guilt followed just okay have fun
 
F

FlyBum

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Well you need to get one of these.

HPIM1141.jpg

Who is equally obsessed :)

Since she has moved to Boise when ever we plan to meet it usually, no wait, always involves a fishing and camping trip. But unfortunately she'll be moving to Idaho Falls till the end of the summer than back to Portland. Damn Government work!
 
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Spydeyrch

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Dude....I don't think you needed to go through a lesson in vocabulary and grammer to get your point across. And Bobbi...it's Not 'getting away time' it's making time for the things you love to do most and a relationship or a marraige can not interfere with that. Only if feelings are hurt and uneven sacrifices occur can problems exist. Spydeyrch, if she needs you to be there then you need to be there. But by the same token, if a fishing day can be planned with no real harm done to the event then she should understand and have no problem with it. Jeez....did I really just say all that? I shouldn't drink and post at the same time.

Thanks for the advise OTF. And yes, I am there for her. I make sure that she has her time and that we have our time. It is important to bulid a relationship and marriage upon a solid foundation and it takes time to do that. Especially with 3 young kids! :lol:

But yes, I do need my time for my things. And she understands that. There are times when she will mention that she would like to give me a day of fishing, which I gladly appreciate. :D

So, I understand her and she me. I was merely being comical with my post. Resorting to dictionary definitions to help "support" my defense of why I should go fishing and how I am not obssesed but merely passionate about fishing. :D

Although she did say that she thinks that I shouldn't go fishing on Thursday with my dad and brother. But she was kind of in a bad mood that day so we will see once we actually arrive. My aunt and ker kids will be there. They are the same age as my kids. Plus my mom will be there. She ADORES and SMOTHERS our kids so she usually takes them out for a day or so.

Thus I am thinking that she will probably want to hit a spa or mall or something and Thursday is the only day she could do that. Hmmmm,, maybe things are working in my favor, hahahahahahaha. :lol: :D

And yes, you really did just say all that!! :)

-Spydey
 
M

Mad dog

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Spydey,

3 young children are your salvation, you can get a lot of mileage out of your young'uns! I started with mine when they were around 18-19 months old, they have always fished! Used to play a game....I would put them in the boat while it was on the trailer in the yard, give them a spinning rod and let them reel me in! Super secret training!!! ;) It was fun to them but at the same time it stoked their desire to fish and taught them how to fight a big fish, by the time they were 5 or so they were catching lots of big Klamath lake rainbows, by the time they were 10 or so they had both caught 10 lb. plus rainbows on flygear. Mine were rabid to go fishing, all I had to say was, "I sure hear the fishing is good right now over at such and such....go tell your mom you want to go fishing!" There is no way my wife was going to deny a fishing trip to her children! :lol: ;)

I think it is important that your wife doesn't feel trapped at home watching small children while you are out having fun! Get your kids fired up about fishing and take them with you! Also, I like to fish while my wife is working or doing other things, I rarely fish on the weekends which are her days off. Also, I go early a lot and I am home before she is even out of bed....she doesn't like to get up early on her day off! I get plenty of fishing in and plenty of quality time with my wife!
 
S

Spydeyrch

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Spydey,

3 young children are your salvation, you can get a lot of mileage out of your young'uns! I started with mine when they were around 18-19 months old, they have always fished! Used to play a game....I would put them in the boat while it was on the trailer in the yard, give them a spinning rod and let them reel me in! Super secret training!!! ;) It was fun to them but at the same time it stoked their desire to fish and taught them how to fight a big fish, by the time they were 5 or so they were catching lots of big Klamath lake rainbows, by the time they were 10 or so they had both caught 10 lb. plus rainbows on flygear. Mine were rabid to go fishing, all I had to say was, "I sure hear the fishing is good right now over at such and such....go tell your mom you want to go fishing!" There is no way my wife was going to deny a fishing trip to her children! :lol: ;)

I think it is important that your wife doesn't feel trapped at home watching small children while you are out having fun! Get your kids fired up about fishing and take them with you! Also, I like to fish while my wife is working or doing other things, I rarely fish on the weekends which are her days off. Also, I go early a lot and I am home before she is even out of bed....she doesn't like to get up early on her day off! I get plenty of fishing in and plenty of quality time with my wife!

Thanks Mad dog for the advice. Nice pointers. Yeah, my oldest are 5 and 3 and then the yongest is 2 months. The 3 and 5 year old have their own fishing rods. They keep asking to go out with me, which I am totally up for, but the wife gets nervious and usually vetos the motion, hahahaha.

But I need to try that "secret training" idea of yours. That might work. I was even thinking of getting a 5' 6" fly rod for my son. He might like that.

I think I am going to try that secret training starting tonight. Thanks for the idea. :D

-Spydey

And yes, i usually like to go out saturdays and get back around 10 or 11am, about when my wife is waking up. :)
 
S

Spydeyrch

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Yeah, sorry man, can't do that now. I am happily married so getting a fishing girlfriend is out of the question. :D

But thanks anyways. :)

-Spydey
 
M

Mad dog

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Yeah, sorry man, can't do that now. I am happily married so getting a fishing girlfriend is out of the question. :D

But thanks anyways. :)

-Spydey

Hey Spydey,

Sounds to me like you need a super, super secret plan!!! ;) You need to get your wife hooked on fishing!!! It's like crack once your hooked! :cool: Who knows a year from now....A little cut and paste....BINGO!!!....that is your wife in Flybums picture holding a trout! :D Sounds to me like you need to introduce your wife not only to fishing, but everything outdoors that goes with it!
 
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FlyBum

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Fortunately there was no need for me to get her really into the out doors since she is a Wildlife Biologist! I just had to get the spinning reel out of her hands and put a fly rod there instead. Pretty easy task!! :dance:
 
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