Fishin Jokes

F

FishSchooler

Active member
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
1,779
Location
Oregon
We need a seperate thread just for laughs, like that word association. We need to have a thread away from the "serious" fish talk where we can all have fun and not only the peeps who catch fish like a bajillion percent of the time can have fun. ;)

I put this in another thread, but what do you call a fish with no eyes?
 
F

FishSchooler

Active member
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
1,779
Location
Oregon
Here are a few more I got from somewhere...
Take The Bait
It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line and began waiting for a fish to bite.

He was there for almost an hour without even a nibble when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice not too far from the old man and dropped in his fishing line. It only took about a minute and WHAM! a Largemouth Bass hit his hook and the boy pulled in the fish.

The old man couldn't believe it but figured it was just luck. But, the boy dropped in his line and again within just a few minutes pulled in another one.

This went on and on until finally the old man couldn't take it any more since he hadn't caught a thing all this time.

He went to the boy and said, "Son, I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You have been here only a few minutes and have caught about half a dozen fish! How do you do it?"

The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."

"What was that?" the old man asked.

Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm."

"Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you are saying."

So, the boy spit into his hand and said, "You have to keep the worms warm!"


A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it all on the counter anyway.

He said "That's a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It's a good all around rod and reel, and it's $20." She says, "That's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for, so I'll take it."

He walks behind the counter to the register. And in the meantime, the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed, but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was she. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50."

She asks, "But didn't you say it was $20?"

He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20, the duck call is $3, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"


My own:
My brother debates. I do it much better. But I spell it debaits. Ah hahaha :lol:
 
M

MrGrey1

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
7
Location
Canada, B.C.
When is Fishing The Best?

Usually before you get there or after you leave!
:dance:
 
F

fishhunter28

Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
27
Location
mill city
some might find this offensive so read at your own risk




A grand father takes his grandson fishing grandpa pulls out a smoke grandson says can I have some? grandpa says can you put your pecker in your butt? kid says no so grandpa says than no! a little while later grandfather pulls out a beer takes a drink and grandson says can I have a drink. grandpa says can you put your pecker in your butt, kid says no and grandpa says well then there is your answer ........ so on the way home grandpa feels a little bad and stops at a store for some drinks and buys grandson a lotto ticket kid hits it for a million grandpa says great job will you split it with me? kid says can you put your pecker in your ass grandpa says well yes I can kid says well good GO F**K YOURSELF!!!!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
M

MrGrey1

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
7
Location
Canada, B.C.
Blind Fisherman

A blind fisherman walks into a tackle shop and complains:
"Big fish broke maaa fricken rod... need a new one.."

Seller: What kind would you like sir?
Oh give me a strong 9' trout rod - Must be rigth handed though..

Seller: Anything else sir?
"Yup! Add 300 Mitchell Reel - must be right handed too.."

Seller is curious:

"Forgive me for asking sir, but you only have one aram too. How do ya fish like that?

Blind Guy: " Oh, that's easy son. That's easy... All I do is cast it out and then I put it under my arm, squeze it and wait."
When I feel the fish pull, I jerk back and set the hook!

Seller: You catch many fish like that?
Blind guy: "Oh yeah! Tons of them!"

Seller:
What was the biggest fish you ever cought?
Blind Guy: "OH, ABOUT THIS BIG...!"

(hold you Right hand out open...when telling this joke)
 
F

FishSchooler

Active member
Joined
Mar 29, 2008
Messages
1,779
Location
Oregon
Blind Fisherman

A blind fisherman walks into a tackle shop and complains:
"Big fish broke maaa fricken rod... need a new one.."

Seller: What kind would you like sir?
Oh give me a strong 9' trout rod - Must be rigth handed though..

Seller: Anything else sir?
"Yup! Add 300 Mitchell Reel - must be right handed too.."

Seller is curious:

"Forgive me for asking sir, but you only have one aram too. How do ya fish like that?

Blind Guy: " Oh, that's easy son. That's easy... All I do is cast it out and then I put it under my arm, squeze it and wait."
When I feel the fish pull, I jerk back and set the hook!

Seller: You catch many fish like that?
Blind guy: "Oh yeah! Tons of them!"

Seller:
What was the biggest fish you ever cought?
Blind Guy: "OH, ABOUT THIS BIG...!"

(hold you Right hand out open...when telling this joke)

Ahaha hahaha ahahaha I didn't get it at first until I remembered the one arm...
Thatsa a good one.
 
C

cchinook

Active member
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
152
Location
Portland
joke

joke

How can you tell when a fisherman is lying ? His lips move.
 
M

MrGrey1

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2009
Messages
7
Location
Canada, B.C.
Woman Must Understand Your Fishing needs..

Woman Must Understand Your Fishing needs..

Therefore, its important to choose the right woman:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
 
Raincatcher

Raincatcher

Moderator
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
4,705
Location
Less than 50 feet from the Santiam River! :)
Dusty....

Dusty....

Therefore, its important to choose the right woman:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

McGrey;
Ummm,the nicest thing I can say about your highly chauvinistic joke is that it is as old as the hills and twice as dusty. :dance: I know,I know you heard it from your daddy and he heard it from his daddy ect. :rolleyes: I continue to hold on to the hope that one day, some guy will actually come up with some new material. I don't expect you to get in touch with your feminine side,it would probably smack you upside the head :lol: , but at least freshen up your old stuff. Otherwise, I think this thread is a hoot! :clap::clap: C'mon, there are more jokes out there than this.
Seriously, thanks to all you gents for making me smile at least once a day. :D We all need that. Keep up the good work. Be safe.
Barb
 
Raincatcher

Raincatcher

Moderator
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
4,705
Location
Less than 50 feet from the Santiam River! :)
My turn.....

My turn.....

Ok,ok...I may have seemed a bit harsh on McGrey1. That is just a sample of my weird humor. Sorry if I offended anyone. Hoe about I share one and you be the critic? I won't try to claim it as mine,I found it online.

Canadian Humor:
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in Sydney Harbor,Nova Scotia,the husband answered his door to find two grim-faced Canadian Mounties.

"We're sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife" said one Mountie.

"Tell me, did you find her?" the husband shouted.

The Mounties looked at each other,"We have some bad news,some good news and some great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the husband said,"Give me the bad news first."

The Mountie said,"I'm sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in one of the bays".

"Oh my God" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard,he asked "What is the good news?"

The Mountie continued, When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her.

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"

The Mountie said,"We're going to pull her up again tomorrow.

:shock: :rolleyes: :confused: ;) :) :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ?
Barb
 

Similar threads

Top Bottom