My new toy

A

autofisher

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Jun 25, 2009
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Salem, Oregon
So I was messing around on Facebook a little while back. Field and Stream is one of my favorite magazines and pages..... Anyway, they've been having these caption contests where they'd put up an old photo and the person who came up with the best caption would win a prize......

They put up an old Chrysler outboard motor ad that had two guys and a girl......... one of the guys was holding the outboard and all three were smiling and laughing......which they shouldn't have been because the God awful swim trunks they were wearing....you know... the kind that are all tight and are pulled up to the guy's nipples in 1962......anyway, the sarcastic "caption" I came up with was this............... "Chrysler outboards, helping normal men become swimsuit models since 1956" something like that.......

Here's the kicker.... I won. I gots me a big black machete that's gonna cut me some trails like you wouldn't believe. It's pretty nice.... My mom wishes she was smart enough to steal it from me.
 
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bigsteel

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NICE,,,,i never win contests....maybe theyll send ya a pair of those shorts to model
 
L

lilsalmon

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Albany, Oregon
:lol: Bigger sometimes is better....I have a medium sized one but it is soooo dull it won't do much......

Congrats on your win Mike...
 
Raincatcher

Raincatcher

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Less than 50 feet from the Santiam River! :)
:lol: Bigger sometimes is better....I have a medium sized one but it is soooo dull it won't do much......

Congrats on your win Mike...

He was sharpening it last night and finally got it to a "sharp state of dull" before I left. lol I have a whet stone I can bring next time we fish and sharpen 'em up for both of you.
 
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lilsalmon

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He was sharpening it last night and finally got it to a "sharp state of dull" before I left. lol I have a whet stone I can bring next time we fish and sharpen 'em up for both of you.

Sounds good....Olallie would be a good place...hehe
 
A

autofisher

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Salem, Oregon
Yeah,his is nice...but mine's bigger... lol

My mother thinks that I suffer from "machete envy".......when the reality..... much like my mother, her machete is old, covered in rust, and hasn't been used in years. Me thinks she's the one with the case of the "envy", because when I opened the box, she said " If I had known that was in there, you would've never known it came." Green is not your color mother.
 
Raincatcher

Raincatcher

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Less than 50 feet from the Santiam River! :)
Actually,Sonny,I used my nice big grinder to rid my 20" machete of rust and make it nice and sharp then fine tuned it with the whet stone. As for me,that's not rust you brat! The doctor says it's signs of maturity...boy! am I mature! lol Do you still have the scar from your "duh" button episode?
 
J

JeannaJigs

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Eugene, Oregon
Ahem...mines more betterz.

Yeah, I threw down all kinds'a poor grammar, what what?! I have a fever and didn't sleep...not my fault...

But seriously my machete wins.
 
A

autofisher

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Salem, Oregon
Which one? The potato chip bag? The skateboard/superman trick? The suction thingy on my forehead? .............. Ya know...... with so many stories from my past, it's a wonder I haven't won any of the MooseKnuckle Awards........I thnk I learned my lessons early.....that and there's Jigs, and she's a great distraction from my mishaps.


...............Signs of maturity............. yeah.....and we won at the Alamo
 
Raincatcher

Raincatcher

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Less than 50 feet from the Santiam River! :)
Ummmmmm

Ummmmmm

Jeanna;
I've heard stories about yours...not the size that matters...it's the way you wield it. ;) :lol:
Autoflasher;
My favorite is the big red dot in the middle of your forehead after applying the wine bottle stopper...that alone should garner "Mooseknuckle of the Year" award for you...
You really should have stayed awake in school...we got our collective arses handed to us by some very smart and crafty warriors.
 
A

autofisher

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I'm not the only one with a "red dot on the forehead" story, am I Rearscratcher?
 
G

Growbug

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Dickie Prairie, Molalla
Yeeha... you won a machete, but you are losing the battle... c'mon lilsalmon, raincatcher and jigs... this is fun.
How long will it be before Autofisher gets some peace?
 
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lilsalmon

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Albany, Oregon
You best show up at Olallie "autoflasher" so's I get the story on the button episode.....or are ye chicken. I can almost imagine....:lol:

My machete may come with me if Raincatcher brings her whet stone.
 
J

JeannaJigs

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Ya know...Honestly...I admit to having my moments...but really...I'm kinda concerned that Mike's been given a knife of such size. I mean sure it's dull and mine's still bigger and more betterz..but...It's still concerning that he might have a bout of accidental self harm. Then...who will I bum yarn off of? I mean...really, that'd be a sad story. So perhaps Barb should confiscate it.
 
F

fishnquest

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Jan 22, 2009
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9mi beyond end of the world
I saw that picture; pretty funny. I tried to come up with something but my caption creating is about as good as my smacktalk. Congrats on your win; thats awesome.
 
A

autofisher

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Messages
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Salem, Oregon
Ya know...Honestly...I admit to having my moments...but really...I'm kinda concerned that Mike's been given a knife of such size. I mean sure it's dull and mine's still bigger and more betterz..but...It's still concerning that he might have a bout of accidental self harm. Then...who will I bum yarn off of? I mean...really, that'd be a sad story. So perhaps Barb should confiscate it.

You're seriously worried about me doing harm to myself? Really? C'mon now Frankenleg, we know who to worry about now don't we? As far as not being able to handle myself against these three...... well, Raincatcher's about 160 years old and I know if a bird farted in Portland, it might knock her down in Dallas. Jigs by far has the biggest "self destruct" button I've ever seen. She has successfully showed up to every charity event with crutches, bandages, plastic bags.... she's on a great streak. And lilsalmon, let's just say I'm not worried about her machete weilding skills, I've seen her tie her fishing gear. :lol: I don't need rest. I need a vacation.
 
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